Memories of the way you were…..you need a new headshot!
I hear it all the time. “I hate having my picture taken. I HATE having my picture taken.” I see it all the time: that worn out, 20-year-old church directory photo you keep trotting out to use for a headshot. Don’t tell me you still think those huge shoulder pads are still in…..or those mutton chop sideburns and man-perms are currently popular. Come on, give it up! You need a new head shot. You know who you are….
You would think we were the BMV: grumpy old ladies who bark at you to look at the camera and then click the shutter mid-blink. You would think we were the annoying people at the unnamed, over-priced photo studio that not only tells you to say something insulting like “Cheese!”….or “Money!”…or “Davey Jones”….or “Nick Jonas!” They might as well be telling me to say: “Economic depression!” or “Bernie Madoff!” Then they turn around and guilt you into buying this enormous package that you really don’t need: 172 wallets, 480 portrait petites, 37 5 x 7’s and 12 8 x 10’s.
Believe me, we understand. Getting your photo taken is like baring your soul to the cruel gods of Geretol or Dexatrim. It is awful. We here in the photography department hate having our photo taken, too. We do our best to make it as quick and as harmless as possible. Think of it as a root canal with really, really, really good meds. Using the overly dramatic root canal example, it is something a little stressful but painless. And your outcome is not the usual nausea and pain that accompanies a root canal, but a very good photo.
I know you think you are the lone exception in “photogenic-ness”. You declare it is hopeless. You just can’t take a good photo. This is where knowing how to get your good side, how to light you and at what angle to shoot you from is half the battle. And we do all that. It also helps knowing all the tricks of the trade that Photoshop has to offer. We can soften wrinkles, take off pimples, lighten up under eye circles and make your teeth look whiter. The only thing we can’t do is promise you that you will look like Angelina or Brad when we are finished. But let’s face it; even Angelina and Brad don’t look like Angelina and Brad anymore.
It also helps to know what to wear in your photo. Do not wear red. It reflects on the skin and can make your complexion look florid. Do not wear turtlenecks. They actually make you look heavier. It also helps not to tan right before you come over. Yes, you may look a healthy golden brown when you stroll in. But the camera sees a scary electric orange that says “Hey! I am radioactive!” Because we want this photo to be as good as possible, we have a comprehensive list of “what not to wear” we will gladly share with you upon request. We believe that if you are going to make the time to come and visit us for a new photo, it should be the best experience possible. And you should walk out a happier person than you came in.
So throw aside your reservations, toss caution to the wind, and call me to set a time to have your portrait taken. If you have a new hairstyle, you need a new headshot. If you have lost some weight, you need a new headshot. If you broke down and put away those enormous plastic blue-framed, pink-tinted glasses and bought yourself some new frames, you need a new headshot. If you had a promotion, you need a new headshot. If the last time you had your photo taken was when Eisenhower was president, stop trying to pass that photo off as you and call me now!
And unlike that unnamed, over-priced studio, we don’t cost a thing. When was the last time you actually got something for nothing? Consider this our own brand of economic stimulus.
So for now, I am waiting for a phone call from you telling me you have summoned up your courage, are ready to take a big leap of faith with us and you are putting that 20-year-old photo away for good. Call me, Barb Goodwin, at ext. 7130. You know who you are!
POST CONTRIBUTED BY: BARB GOODWIN, administrative assistant in Photography Services.